Our lives are filled
with relationships of all sorts and have as many different meanings to us. Each is unique and has its own value to you
and cost. In order to make relationships
successful, one must be willing to put effort and time into forming the
foundation, building upon it, and sustaining the relationship once built. Depending upon its value, what you wish to
accomplish within or through it, and what you are willing to give to it; these
factors will determine if it will endure the tests life puts us through. The
most critical element to me is trust.
Relationships and partnerships also provide support and give a sense of
purpose or direction to our lives.
This assignment is to take a look at some
of our most important positive relationships.
We are to share their importance or meaning to us; describe the positive
nature of each and factors that have
contributed to developing and maintaining each relationship; share insight we
have gained from our life experiences regarding the challenges involved in
maintaining or developing relationships; look at special characteristics that
have made some relationships into partnerships; and reflect upon how my
experiences and insight gained from these relationships/partnerships may impact
my ability to be an active reflective contributor and/or my work as an
effective early childhood professional.
The
most important relationships in my life are those with my husband and my
children. Each is equally important but
very different from the others. I have
been married to my husband for thirty years on the 26th of
March. Together we have learned how to
trust each other; that we can depend upon one another for help, love, or
encouragement; that no matter what you are there for each other and we have
raised three sons together. A
relationship is give and take, has its highs and lows; but you see them through
and what you put into it will grow and give back even more in return. Being in the military, you learn to depend
upon each other even more since the majority of your family is most likely some
distance away. You also learn to be very
dependent upon yourself since their job often takes them away for extended
periods of time. That can be a true test
of your relationship and your own inner strength. I have spent all of these years with my husband
not because I need him, but because he is wanted and valued.
I
have three sons, ages 27, 25 and 21.
They are each very unique and my relationship is a little different with
each. I don’t think I have ever felt the
same depth of joy or anguish with or about another person as I have with my
children. When they are safe and happy,
all is right with your world; but when they are sick, scared or in pain, the
anguish you feel is indescribable. When
you are pregnant it is a vague feeling in the beginning, but as they grow
inside you and you start feeling movement and start forming an attachment with
them, your love grows. Then they are
born and when you look down at that child—there is nothing like it in the
world. They truly are one of life’s
miracles.
As they mature and grow, so many different
experiences happen that shapes them into who they are and will someday be. You try hard to guide them, keep them safe
and happy. You want to do what is best
for them, but it is not always easy. You
have to allow them space and some freedom to live life, and even though at times
you both make mistakes; you will be there when needed. Although they are now young adults, we still
want to help them if and when they need it—even though they don’t like to ask
(independence is quite valued at this age).
I tell them that we are able to help; it gives us joy and peace of
mind. One day we will be older and may
need their help or support; hopefully they will do the same for us. That is how family relationships/partnerships
work—you help when you are needed…you are not just present for the good, happy
times or for what you can gain.
Although I have spent
the last thirty years away from home, I feel I have a close relationship with
my parents. We have gone home at least
once a year to visit. I wanted my
children to know their grandparents and their grandparents to know them. I had a very sheltered childhood. I grew up in a very small community (probably
only a few hundred people) and many of which were relatives. My dad had a dairy farm so my mom and he were
pretty much always at home with us or within close proximity. We grew up valuing family, taking care of
your family and with trust and respect for one another. This certainly helped when I was a teenager and
had a bit of a rebellious streak which we made it through and remained
close. I have noticed over the past
several years, as my parents grow older that the roles begin to shift. As children you are dependent upon your parents
for almost everything and then you grow up and slowly over time roles start to
reverse. You are starting to give them
advice, trying to take care of them more and more and one day they will be
dependent upon you as you were them as a child.
To me, that is a true relationship/partnership when it changes and
evolves to meet the needs of those that are involved.
As for my siblings, I
have three sisters and one brother. I
keep in contact with each of them on a regular basis except for my oldest
sister. Unfortunately she made some life
choices that were not only damaging to her, her daughter; but also to her
relationship with the rest of the family.
We are there if she needs us, but we were unable to support her marriage
(which is very unhealthy to all involved); so she chose not to be involved with
us. I am the middle child and the only
one who does not live within twenty miles of my parents or each other. They all see each other on a daily
basis.
Since being here in
Alaska, I have formed four very close friendships. Each is unique but have some characteristics
in common. Pam is my one of my closest
friends. We met when we were both
employed at the same center. I was her mentor
teacher and our friendship grew over the time we worked in the same classroom
and has continued since. We have shared
some very happy and extremely heartbreaking experiences together. A lot of our joy came from the children we
cared for and watched thrive and develop in our care in the classroom. We have spent much time talking and helping
each other through life’s ups and downs.
I have been able to share the joy of the birth of her first grandchild
with her.
One of the most heartbreaking experiences we
have shared was the death of our friend and colleague, Lisa. We both worked with Lisa at the same center;
that is how the three of us met. About
two and a half years ago Lisa was diagnosed with melanoma. She had surgery, they thought they got the
cancer; but were wrong. Over the period
of a year and a half we spent a lot of valuable time going through this
experience with our friend. We clung to
periods of hope and then we had to face the prospect of death together. I really had no idea how much our friendship
had actually grown and how valuable it was to me until this was all taking
place. I learned so many things from
this whole experience. You start looking
at what is really important; you question if what you are doing has true
meaning, purpose and relevance. Time is
so short and can be taken away so unexpectedly—it is not to be wasted.
Lisa was a truly good person at heart and had
so much love and patience to give to her children. She taught preschool and was a true joy to
see interacting with the children and parents.
Her one regret was that she had not had enough time to do all the things
that she wanted to in life. I tried to
reassure her with the thought that she had done more good for children and families
in the short time she had lived, than many people will do in much longer lives. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her
and what she means to me still.
Two other very
important relationships are with two women I met while working at an Early Head
Start program. Kathleen was one of my
teacher assistants for a few months before she left to do her student
teaching. We remain very close friends
and may one day be business partners as well.
We share a true passion for working with children and see a huge need
for change and hope to someday be a bigger part of it. Susanne is the other friend I met while
there. She was a home visitor with the
program. I value her knowledge and
insight and see her as a true mentor for myself. We also share a true passion for the field
and the work we do. Many of our ideals
and philosophies are the same and our conversations can go on for hours when we
are able to get together. She is a true
source of energy that can revitalize my determination when I start to feel like
I’m not making progress with my goals as fast as I would like.
Franchezca is one of
the providers in my classroom with me. As
we have worked together over the past few months and grown to know each other
through our shared interest and work with children. I enjoy working with her and a friendship is
growing through our shared interests. I
serve as her mentor and share much of the new knowledge I am gaining through
these classes with her. I am seeing her
grow as a professional each day and have a great deal of confidence and trust
in her abilities with the children. She
truly has a good heart and we share many of the same values.
I truly cherish the relationships
I have formed with the children in my care.
It is a gift to be able to care for them and watch them develop and grow
each day. They give true purpose and
focus to life both as a person and a professional. I am also fortunate to have been able to
build true relationships/partnerships with the families of the children in my
class. I take great care to start the
process when we first meet to do their initial orientation before entering the
center. I invite them to come in and
visit, observe us and get to know us before they have to leave their child for
the first time. Each day we share
information at drop off and pick up concerning their child’s needs and
experiences. I try to help them feel a
valued part of their child’s lives even while in our care by soliciting their
input and involving them in as many decisions as possible.
In regards to insight
involving challenges of developing and maintaining relationships that I have
gained from my own experiences, anything worth having is worth putting in the
effort it takes to form, grow and sustain it.
There will always be challenges but what is important is that you face
them and grow from them. An important
part of relationships is the growth and change that takes place—life is not stagnant. We need to be prepared to adjust according to
the need and know when we are unwilling to do so. It should be give and take on the parts of
all involved, not just one. You must be
willing to look at the perspectives of others, even when you don’t agree; just
be open to other possibilities.
Each experience,
relationship/partnership in life leaves an impact upon us. Through these experiences we grow and develop
and evolve into who we are and what we believe.
We can take our knowledge from our own experiences and hopefully grow an
understanding for the experiences and circumstances of others without being too
quick to judge or reject them because of differences. We must try to keep an
open mind and look for positives that we can use as a base and grow a
relationship/partnership from there.
Here are a few quotes that I found on relationships:
"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships
come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get
something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good.
In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your
relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to
take." — Anthony Robbins
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"The relationships we have
with the world are largely determined by the relationships we have with
ourselves" — Greg Anderson
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“The word choices that parents
make every day have an incredible power to enhance or harm the relationship
with a child. Parents must make a conscious choice to use positive
communication that will build mutual respect, cooperation and self-esteem.” — Toni Schutta
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“The mother-child
relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most
intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow
away from the mother, and to become fully independent.” -- Erich Fromm
“Death ends a life,
not a relationship.”--Jack Lemon
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“Each relationship
nurtures a strength or weakness within you.”--Mike Murdock
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“You don't develop
courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by
surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”--Epicurus
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“If civilization is
to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships - the ability
of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same world at peace.”--Franklin D.
Roosevelt
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“Every single major
push in education has made it worse and right now it's really bad because
everything we've done is de-humanizing education. It's destroying the
possibility of the teacher and the student having a warm, friendly,
intellectual relationship.” --William Glasser
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“Children are our
second chance to have a great parent-child relationship.” -- Laura Schlessinger
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“You can kiss your family and friends
good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with
you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a
world but a world lives in you.”-- Frederick Buechner
