EDUC6165 Communication Evaluation: Insights

            The focus of this week’s assignments was the assessment of my abilities in the areas of communication anxiety, verbal aggressiveness, and listening style.  Three assessments were completed by my husband, my best friend (also a former co-worker) and me. 

            I was quite surprised at how closely my husband and I rated myself on most items except on verbal aggressiveness.  My husband scored me as the most aggressive of all three of us and my friend viewed me as the least aggressive.  We were in agreement that I do not yell and scream when my efforts to influence others do not work and do not enjoy poking fun at others to stimulate their intelligence.  We agreed that I can take criticism from others in good humor and do not retaliate.

            My friend scored me as moderate on the communication anxiety and me and my husband’s scores fell into the mild range only 2 points apart.  We are all aware of my dislike for public speaking and also agreed upon my ability to effectively communicate one-to-one.

            The scores on the listening styles profile placed me in group 1: people-oriented.  The widest range of answer on this test was concerning my impatience with people who ramble during conversations.  I felt I was sometimes, my friend said I never get impatient and my husband said always.  There was also this wide range upon how I focus my attention on the other persons feelings when listening.  I thought sometimes, my friend said always, and my husband responded infrequently.

            Two insights I have gained about communication are that after thirty years of marriage my husband and I seem to have very close to the same thoughts about my ability to communicate and listen.  I also have learned that depending upon my relationship with the person, their view of me is different.  I feel that my closeness and years of experience with my husband allows me to feel more confident in allowing him to see all aspects of myself and perhaps I am more careful of my treatment and of how open I am with my friend in showing some of my more negative communication qualities. 

            The ability to tailor communication efforts to the needs, abilities, and listening style of the audience will be an effective tool in both professional and personal communication.  It is important to be able to assess each communication situation and alter your style as conditions dictate.  One style does not fit all occasions.  Each child, family, and event must be approached as an individual with its own unique needs to be filled.

           

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

            Microaggressions are words, actions, or aspects of the environment that cause discomfort, invisibility, or a feeling of being devalued to a person (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).  These can be intentional or unintentional; often the perpetrator is said to be unaware of the act or its impact (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).  Dr. Sue discussed in-depth, three types of microaggression:  racial, sexual-orientation, and gender.

            The example I would like to describe for this assignment is a racial microaggression.  The center I was working in at the time this occurred had a very diverse staff.  Each month a pot-luck would be planned and caregivers were asked to volunteer to bring dishes that fit with the theme.  I heard the person who was organizing this potluck say to several staff members, “This month is Mexican food.  We have lots of staff that are Hispanic so we should have lots of really good Mexican dishes to pick from”, [Personal communication. n.d.]  This was said to non-Hispanic and Hispanic members of the staff.

            Not only did this person make the assumption that because one is Hispanic they must be able to cook Mexican food, but did not consider the fact that maybe they did not like Mexican food or would even want to participate in this function.  The staff members were from many different countries to include Panama, Ecuador, Puerto Rico, and Mexico to name just a few.  The staff members found this offensive to be lumped under one category and have stereotypical assumptions based upon their ability to speak Spanish.

            I was surprised that this statement was even made to begin with by a person in her position and that it was not corrected by her superiors.  As professionals we should more aware of our words, actions and their effects upon other people.  She seemed totally unaware of the discomfort she had caused.  The staff members were hesitant to bring this up, in fear of repercussions because she was a member of lower management and had a close relationship with members of senior management. 

            I would also like to share an example of what I feel are internalized messages (Margles and Margles, 2010), of racial microaggression.  One of the parents from my classroom, who was a care provider at the center as well, was of Mexican descent.   On more than one occasion while in my classroom spending time with her infant would make comments that I felt were derogatory or stereotypical that were directed at her own race.  They would be in reference to how “she must dress or feed her infant.  She would state because Mexican’s do it that way”.  Or she would state how she did not want people to think her baby was dirty because she was Mexican and they could be known to not be clean sometimes.  Her husband was black and she would also make comments in reference to what black people did or thought.  On several occasions I would try to point out to her that we must be careful not to stereotype and make comments based upon race within the classroom environment.  I understood that her purpose was not to be negative; but not everyone that may hear her, or the children present in the classroom would know that and one could take offense or feel it was directed towards them.   We had a good, open relationship and were able to discuss this as adults.  I feel certain that her intent was not to be hurtful or negative; but the messages being sent could be considered microaggressions to a person hearing them.  This gave me cause to consider that discrimination, prejudice, and/or stereotypes come in many forms, from many people both outside of and from within a culture.  I had not thought much about internalized messages of racism and how they could be passed on from within a race or culture (Margles and Margles, 2010).  My thoughts had been more of someone from outside a culture or race being the person doing these acts.  This is another example of the negative and harmful impact of how society views and openly discriminates against its members and the forms that the repercussions can take.  As stated several times within this week’s discussions and learning resources, it is not the obvious and most blatant acts doing the most damage (Laureate Education Inc., 2011).

References

Laureate Education, Inc. (2011). Microaggressions in everyday life. [Video podcast]. With Dr. Derald Wing Sue. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_3468047_1%26url%3D

Margles, S., & Margles, M. (2010, Spring). Inverting racism's distortions. Our Schools, our Selves, 19, 137-149. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/872774698?accountid=14872

EDUC6165 WK3: My Personal Styles of Communication

            Throughout our lives we have had to communicate with members of a diverse society.  Diversity can stem from differences of age, beliefs, religion, ethnicity, political affiliation, socio-economics, and gender (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2012); just to name a few.  Our communication can be based upon personal and/or professional relationships.  We may be very familiar with or know very little information about who we are communicating with. 

            I feel that I do communicate differently with people, depending upon their age, level of understanding, language capabilities, and whether it is of a personal or professional nature.  In order to communicate successfully and effectively both parties must understand the message being relayed; each of these things need to be considered and accommodated for properly (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2012).  I must be observant of how the other party is responding to my communication efforts.  Verbal and non-verbal cues can give me an indication whether I need to alter my style and/or method of communication.  I need to be responsive to their efforts to communicate as well.  Listening is a vital part of the communication process.

            Three strategies that would help me to communicate more effectively with any person or group are:  1. State my message clearly in a manner that is understandable for the person or group I am communicating with; 2. Watch for signs that the message has been received and understood; 3. Practice the skills necessary to be an effective communicator (listen carefully and effectively, think before speaking or acting, be empathetic to other persons involved, and practice ethical communication) (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2012).  I would like to add to be able to control my emotions to this list.  If a person let’s their emotion control their thoughts, actions, and/or words miscommunication will result or your efforts can be dismissed and not given the attention that is necessary to be effective.  I find that I can become quite emotional when the well-being and rights of my children and families are involved and this does not allow my message or intent to be heard correctly and/or taken seriously.  To become an effective advocate and communicator this skill is especially important to achieve my goals.

Reference

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication:  An introduction.New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

EDUC6164 WK3: Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

I spoke with five different people about their definitions of culture and diversity.  The first is a male, twenty-one who works in the early childhood field; a male in his mid-twenties; a female in her mid-fifties; a female who is forty-nine and works in the field of early childhood; and a male who is fifty.

The twenty-one year old male, working in the field of early childhood:

Culture:  an individual or groups common defining traditions, locations, and beliefs

Diversity:  group of different characteristics

The male in his mid-twenties:

Culture:  acts of using aesthetic mediums to examine intelligence

Diversity:  a common grouping of different types of people

The female in her mid-fifties:

            Culture:  way of life for a group of people

            Diversity:  ability to change as needed

Forty-nine year old female who works in the field of early childhood:

            Culture: something you are born into; raised to believe, do; your actions, environment,

            and family.  Our experiences can change our culture.

            Diversity:  differences between people

Fifty year old male:

            Culture:  things you learn from the way you are brought up, the people you are around

            Diversity:  be open to all different types, things, and points of view

The aspects of culture that have been studied in this course many of the people touched upon:  they seemed to have a basic understanding that it is part of how we are raised, our families traditions, beliefs, and experiences all have a part in forming our culture.  I was surprised that none of them really used the surface examples of food, traditions, or holidays from the text (Derman-Sparks, & Edwards, 2010) in their answer.  I was very surprised by the answer from the male in his twenties and would like to discuss this further to get more insight at another time.

Each seemed to agree that different or differences was relevant in their definitions of diversity other than the female in her mid-fifties referred to the ability to change as needed. 

One very important aspect that we have been studying in depth is the impact that having one’s culture valued and respected and the impact of having it looked down upon or eliminated from one’s life and surroundings can have upon the healthy development of an individual.

When hearing each of the responses I think that my view of how we often do not look deep enough into many of the aspects of a person that has such a profound impact upon what makes each of us who we are holds true with many people.  Each of the people I spoke with seemed to have a respectful attitude about other cultures, but seemed unaware of how much it impacts each of us as individuals.  None spoke of any negative experiences involving culture or diversity and this may well account for how they responded and the fact that it was not a subject that they had put excessive thought into. 

Each was concerned if they gave me the correct definition.  My response to them was that the purpose was to hear how they viewed each topic.  There was no right or wrong answers to either for this exercise.  I feel that one’s culture is a very personal aspect of what makes us each unique and individual in how we think, our beliefs, and how we react and experience things.

Reference

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for the young children and ourselves. Washington DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).