Resolution of a Personal Conflict

            The topic this week is conflict that we have experienced personally and strategies to resolve the situation.    O’Hair and Wiemann (2012) state that conflict may not always be resolved; it can be productive or unproductive; and in some instances lead to growth and learning.  Conflict can occur in any relationship and take many forms.

            The conflict that I will discuss is directly related to being an early childhood professional with very high standards that refuses to settle for less when it comes to children and families.  I do not hesitate to stand up and advocate for children and families when the need or opportunity presents itself.  I believe strongly that we must do what is best for the children and the families and that should be the number one priority.

 I have been employed for 20+ years within the military child development programs.  We have moved from base to base when my husband received orders.  I have been pursuing my education off and on for several years.  The past three I have been enrolled almost full time and working a full time job.  As time has passed and I have developed very strong ethics and values regarding children, families, and the responsibilities as a professional; the level of conflict has grown.

      I have developed a very strong voice when it comes to children, families, and their best interests.  This is where the conflict comes in.  As positions come open that would lead to my advancement, I have not been selected.  I meet the education requirements, the years of experience, and level of expertise.  What I lack is the ability or desire to comply blindly when I feel it is against the best interests of children and families.  I feel strongly about the importance of continuity of care, consistency, development of bonds and attachment…all critical aspects of what I do and believe in.  Caregiver convenience and budget concerns are not my first priority.

Without going into too much detail, the conflict was interfering with my ability to perform at the level I felt necessary.  It is very frustrating to know the research, know how it impacts the children and families, have the desire to do more, and feel that your hands are tied.  It was getting more difficult to manage school, work with rotating shifts and other needs of the job, as well as the frustration involved. 

Several heated conversations and debate of pertinent issues directed related to the well-being of children took place.  I was advised on one occasion to widen my view past the child development aspect and consider their position of having to meet the budget and other employee consideration that come into play within their positions.  This was a factor that could keep me from being promoted.  On another I was told that it was a credit to me that I could still feel so passionate about these issues after working for so many years in the field.  Unfortunately, money impacts decisions and often takes priority in our society.

I found discussion to not be effective; I was in no position of authority to change things; and although many of my co-workers supported my efforts they were in no position to help either.  After much thought, I made a very difficult decision.  I decided take some time off to reflect upon the situation and focus on school.  My request for extended leave was denied so I resigned  to get the time I felt necessary.  This was not easy to do.  I feel strongly about my work, children and families.  I felt sad leaving them and my co-workers; but the situation was neither productive or having a positive impact upon my piece of mind and feeling about myself as a professional.  I have been able to double up on my classes while taking a leave from work and will return to the profession in a few months; renewed, refreshed, and armed with more knowledge and insight than when I left.  I am going to take this time to reflect upon the situation, how I can make changes, and how I can best work for children, families, and the field of early childhood.

Many of the learning resources have given me insight into several avenues that can be used.  I’m not sure any would have been effective in my situation, since I lacked the power or position to implement them with any members of management.  Within my classroom environment itself, many of the strategies have been very helpful and successful with my children, families, and co-workers. 

The 3R’s have been a very important aspect of my approach to working with children and families (Cheshire, 2007).  By modeling respect, responsiveness to their needs, and building relationships I have had wonderful experiences with children and families (Cheshire, 2007).  All involved can benefit and grow from productive relationships.  I do need to work on the areas of controlling and trying to keep emotion from interfering; hearing not only the words but the full intent and needs being communicated to me; and my overall approach to communication itself.

References

Cheshire, N. (2007). The 3 r’s:  Gateway to infant and toddler learning. Dimensions of Early Childhood. 35(3), 36-38. Retrieved from http://www.southernearlychildhood.org/upload/file/SECA%20Radio/The%203%20R%27s.pdf

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012) Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.