EDUC6165 WK3: My Personal Styles of Communication

            Throughout our lives we have had to communicate with members of a diverse society.  Diversity can stem from differences of age, beliefs, religion, ethnicity, political affiliation, socio-economics, and gender (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2012); just to name a few.  Our communication can be based upon personal and/or professional relationships.  We may be very familiar with or know very little information about who we are communicating with. 

            I feel that I do communicate differently with people, depending upon their age, level of understanding, language capabilities, and whether it is of a personal or professional nature.  In order to communicate successfully and effectively both parties must understand the message being relayed; each of these things need to be considered and accommodated for properly (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2012).  I must be observant of how the other party is responding to my communication efforts.  Verbal and non-verbal cues can give me an indication whether I need to alter my style and/or method of communication.  I need to be responsive to their efforts to communicate as well.  Listening is a vital part of the communication process.

            Three strategies that would help me to communicate more effectively with any person or group are:  1. State my message clearly in a manner that is understandable for the person or group I am communicating with; 2. Watch for signs that the message has been received and understood; 3. Practice the skills necessary to be an effective communicator (listen carefully and effectively, think before speaking or acting, be empathetic to other persons involved, and practice ethical communication) (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2012).  I would like to add to be able to control my emotions to this list.  If a person let’s their emotion control their thoughts, actions, and/or words miscommunication will result or your efforts can be dismissed and not given the attention that is necessary to be effective.  I find that I can become quite emotional when the well-being and rights of my children and families are involved and this does not allow my message or intent to be heard correctly and/or taken seriously.  To become an effective advocate and communicator this skill is especially important to achieve my goals.

Reference

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication:  An introduction.New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

EDUC6164 WK3: Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

I spoke with five different people about their definitions of culture and diversity.  The first is a male, twenty-one who works in the early childhood field; a male in his mid-twenties; a female in her mid-fifties; a female who is forty-nine and works in the field of early childhood; and a male who is fifty.

The twenty-one year old male, working in the field of early childhood:

Culture:  an individual or groups common defining traditions, locations, and beliefs

Diversity:  group of different characteristics

The male in his mid-twenties:

Culture:  acts of using aesthetic mediums to examine intelligence

Diversity:  a common grouping of different types of people

The female in her mid-fifties:

            Culture:  way of life for a group of people

            Diversity:  ability to change as needed

Forty-nine year old female who works in the field of early childhood:

            Culture: something you are born into; raised to believe, do; your actions, environment,

            and family.  Our experiences can change our culture.

            Diversity:  differences between people

Fifty year old male:

            Culture:  things you learn from the way you are brought up, the people you are around

            Diversity:  be open to all different types, things, and points of view

The aspects of culture that have been studied in this course many of the people touched upon:  they seemed to have a basic understanding that it is part of how we are raised, our families traditions, beliefs, and experiences all have a part in forming our culture.  I was surprised that none of them really used the surface examples of food, traditions, or holidays from the text (Derman-Sparks, & Edwards, 2010) in their answer.  I was very surprised by the answer from the male in his twenties and would like to discuss this further to get more insight at another time.

Each seemed to agree that different or differences was relevant in their definitions of diversity other than the female in her mid-fifties referred to the ability to change as needed. 

One very important aspect that we have been studying in depth is the impact that having one’s culture valued and respected and the impact of having it looked down upon or eliminated from one’s life and surroundings can have upon the healthy development of an individual.

When hearing each of the responses I think that my view of how we often do not look deep enough into many of the aspects of a person that has such a profound impact upon what makes each of us who we are holds true with many people.  Each of the people I spoke with seemed to have a respectful attitude about other cultures, but seemed unaware of how much it impacts each of us as individuals.  None spoke of any negative experiences involving culture or diversity and this may well account for how they responded and the fact that it was not a subject that they had put excessive thought into. 

Each was concerned if they gave me the correct definition.  My response to them was that the purpose was to hear how they viewed each topic.  There was no right or wrong answers to either for this exercise.  I feel that one’s culture is a very personal aspect of what makes us each unique and individual in how we think, our beliefs, and how we react and experience things.

Reference

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for the young children and ourselves. Washington DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

EDUC6165 Week 2 Blog Entry - Relationship Assumptions: Without and With Sound

            I recorded and watched an episode of Malcolm in the Middle to base my communication entry for this week’s blog.  Without sound I assumed that the man and woman are a couple, the three boys at home their sons and the one away at school/camp was an older son.  The man staying with them I thought might be an uncle.  Based upon non-verbal behaviors, I assumed that the couple is happy, the boys displayed the type of relationship one might expect of three brothers, get into mischief together, fight a little with each other-this continues throughout the episode.  The boys’ thoughts and feelings were quite easy to read through exaggerated facial expression, body movements, and gestures.

            I could basically follow the story line; the boys found a mini-bike, the mom did not approve, and the man living with them was viewed as a nuisance.  The dad and older brother had an up and down relationship.  You could see hope, disappointment, anger, and then pride at different points being felt by the dad throughout the episode being expressed in regard to the son’s actions.  You can see that the three boys finally found a way to convince the mom of letting them keep the mini-bike.  They used a photo of her horse-back riding without safety equipment as a tool to convince her.

            One of the boys snuck the bike out and got hurt.  They were upset; how would they keep the mom from finding out?  The next thing you see is one boy in the truck with the man staying with them getting a ride somewhere and the one with the injured leg and the youngest on the ground, pretending that he ran over the older boy’s leg.  The neighbor is beside himself thinking he hit the boy. 

            The mom comes in checks on the boys, she looks serious, the boys look happy (they think the plan worked.  The man comes in with his suitcase in one hand and cat in the other-leaving.

            When I watched the episode with sound, I found most of my assumptions to be true; except the man who I thought might be an uncle or relative.  He was someone who they had burned his house down.   But he was a nuisance; that was correct.  Most of the rest was very close to what I had thought - the relationship between the three boys, the dad and older son, and the parents.  At the end the mom was aware of the mini-bike accident but decided they could call it even since they managed to get the man to leave the house.

            A more familiar show might have been easier to predict in most cases, but this one had very dramatic acting involved on the parts of the boys and the story line was quite predictable.  I think some people are naturally very animated in their communication and some are harder to read.  I feel it is very important to be observant when either talking or listening to key in on valuable information gained from non-verbal cues.  I have spent the last eight years working with infants who communicate mainly through non-verbal and limited verbal capabilities.  This has enhanced by ability to look for and read non-verbal cues and body reactions which has proven valuable in my work with children, families, and co-workers.

EDUC 6164 - Week 2: Blog: My Family Culture

            If forced to evacuate to another country, the three items that I would choose to take with me and my immediate family that are representative of my family culture and that would mean the most to me are:  the ornaments that my children have made over the years that hang on our tree every year at Christmas, my rings (engagement, wedding band, and mother’s ring) and family photos.

            I have saved all of the ornaments that my three sons have made over the years and each year they go on the tree first.          There is an angel made from glue, a piece of white muslin, glue, a silver pipe cleaner, and a cardboard cone that sits on top of the tree.  These ornaments represent things that my children have made for me and the memories that I have of them growing up and changing.  As a child growing up and even now the holidays do not represent getting and receiving presents, but the time you spend with family-talking, eating, enjoying each others company.

            What my rings represent and mean to me are some of the most important events in my life:  my marriage and the birth of my children.  I have spent the last thirty years living away from my place of birth, from my parents, siblings and extended family.   My husband was in the military when we married and that took us away from our childhood homes and all that we knew.  What I have found is that where my husband and children are is my home and life.

            My family photos are a way to go back and jog the memory of events that get all jumbled up in day-to-day living.  These are an item that all of my family could look at and get an idea of the experiences that have been shared; events have taken place and had meaning to our family.  Future generations could look at them and form an idea of our history and culture.

            If upon arrival and I was told that I could only keep one item, it would be very upsetting considering what we had already experienced, had given up and lost already.  But after the initial shock and upset I hope that I would hold onto what is most important and that is that possessions can be lost and replaced; but memories are our forever and if we share them, will not be lost.  The insight gained from this exercise will further reinforce what I already feel; it is the moments that we live, share, learn and grow from that are the foundations of our families, histories, and culture.  These are what are important and should be valued.

An Effective Communicator

            As we all know and have also read in the text (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012), we all must communicate in one way or another-life depends upon it; although some of us are more skilled at it than others.  This week we were to choose and discuss an example of an effective communicator.  I have chosen a woman that I have known and worked with for over nine years.  She has been my trainer and even my director for a short period of time.  Her name is Chelley Correa.

            Some of the qualities that I feel make her an effective communicator are her abilities to speak at a level of understanding that fits the audience; she speaks in varying levels and puts energy into her words and actions.  She is able to keep the interest of her audience and gauge when she is starting to lose the attention of some and bring them back to the present situation either through verbal or nonverbal means.  She is completely at ease when speaking in front of a small audience or large.  She makes sure that she is prepared by being knowledgeable of the subject matter which she is speaking of and is able to translate her knowledge in a way that the audience will understand.  She involves her audience in the communication process, she is able and willing to listen as well as speak.

            I think if I could model any communication behaviors after her, I would choose the feeling of ease that she has when in front of an audience that has several people.  I am quite comfortable speaking in front of a few people, but still find it challenging to get up in front of a larger group and not feel nervous.  I hope that with the added knowledge from this course and with practice, I will reach a level of comfort in this area.

Reference

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication:  An introduction.New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.